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NICK ZEDD: STEAL THIS VIDEO (1980-1988).

Since Film Threat generously sent me a free copy of this collection, I feel a responsibility to mention it, even though Nick hates my guts (how I miss our old evenings together, sharing a big bowl of Jiffy Pop and watching SEINFELD). On the other hand, the always-petulant Zedd hates most people's guts, so I'll keep this brief... There's nothing wrong with indulgent, pissed-off films. But in Zedd's case, not only does he recycle every self-important idea to death, but despite years of trying, the guy still can't figure out the basics of making a halfway watchable movie (nevertheless, his self-penned publicity makes him out to be the D.W.Griffith of the Lower East Side). The shorts include the conspiracy-fueled THE BOGUS MAN (1980); THRUST IN ME (1984), with Zedd in a dual role as a woman (who slits her wrists in the tub) and a guy (who snags a necrophiliac blowjob as a going away gift); THE WILD WORLD OF LYDIA LUNCH (1983), which cobbles together badly lensed footage of Lydia wandering about; POLICE STATE (1987), during which Zedd has his scrawny ass hauled to jail and is beaten by several (accurately depicted) pigs; and WHOREGASM (1988), which seems spliced together from whatever footage was laying on his apartment floor. This 71 minute package is difficult to endure in one sitting, since the initial curiosity and/or shock value wears off in about 20 minutes, after which you wanna put on something more intellectually stimulating -- like REGIS AND KATHIE LEE... Hopefully Nick will make enough dough off this cushy deal that he'll be able to move outta the East Village once and for all. Unfortunately, from the bored reaction this collection received at my neighborhood video store (Richard Kern out-rents him 10 to 1), he'll have a long way to go before he can afford that down payment on a Jersey Shore condo.

© 1995 by Steven Puchalski.